Once upon a time, in a very mystical land, there lived a platypus by the name of Emily. Emily had a best friend. Her problem was that she couldn't see her best friend because she was very invisible. Emily could only hear her best friend. Emily met her best friend one day when she was stuck in a quicksand pit along with a very upset giraffe. When all of a sudden, Emily heard someone telling her to grab onto a stick that was hovering over her head. So Emily grabbed on and kicked the cussing giraffe in the teeth. The giraffe passed out, so Emily hoisted herself up by pulling on the stick and stepping alongside the giraffe's neck. Once Emily was out, she looked around to thank her hero, but she saw no one. Yet a voice rang out and said "Hey! I'm Webby!"
So once Emily stopped screaming and running around in circles uncontrollably, she realized that Webby was invisible. From that day on, they were best friends.
Not long after the two met, Webby began to tell Emily her life story. It goes something like this:
"I was born in this weird atmosphere where there was much 'anti-aging' creme. It looked like a recalled batch, but I was very hungry so from the tim eI was born until I was about 18 years old, that's what I ate. So it actually didn't 'anti-age' me, it made me disappear. So I figured out the creme was mislabeled because it was actually vanishing creme. So now I've spent the last year looking for a way to be visible again. So then one day I heard a great ruckus going on, I stumbled upon you, and decided to save your life."
Emily was so burdened for Webby that she told her she knew of a magic old hag who could help her. The only way they could find her was to find a hole in a tree and fill it up with water. Then they had to find a flower with no petals and eat it. After they did that, they had to stand on their heads for three minutes. Then, all out of nowhere, a vicious and terrible odor reeked through the air, scattering all of the forest wildlife. Then appeared the magic old hag. Her name was Corine. The two friends were so disturbed by the smell that they passed out.
When they awoke, they were in a swampy wasteland filled with rotting fish, namely anchovies. Corine was looming over them with a look of disgust on her face. The two were frightened. The hag looked at Emily and said, "Do you really want to be able to see your friend's actual appearance?"
Emily replied, "Well it's better than looking at you!"
Webby grew nervous and told Emily something that she hadn't told her before. The truth was that Webby was actually a bacteria that had grown to a million times its actual size. She was covered in gooey plasma and surrounded by sticky flagella. So then Emily began to cry to the hag to turn her friend into a beautiful thing instead of what she was. Corine felt sorry for them and turned Webby into a beautiful blonde 5'2" tall human girl. She was truly beautiful. Then Webby looked at Emily, who was a stumpy platypus, and asked the hag to turn Emily into something beautiful also. So the hag granted her request and turned Emily into a gorgeous sandy-blonde 5'6" tall girl. She was a sight to behold. The hag took a look at the two girls and decided they were too different for their land. She sent them away to a land where they would be appreciated. The two girls were thrusted into a giant wormhole and found themselves then standing in a circle of tribal people. The tribal people then seized them, made them their queens, and killed them because the girls couldn't understand their language of tongue-clicking,
The End.
Fin.
Editor's note: I didn't write this at all, so any mistakes and/or roadkill-esque sentences are entirely on the behalf of the author. Also, I'm the one who is referred to as "Webby", so have fun with that.
The cussing giraffe in this piece is a reference to this video ---> here. it's well worth the watch.
So once Emily stopped screaming and running around in circles uncontrollably, she realized that Webby was invisible. From that day on, they were best friends.
Not long after the two met, Webby began to tell Emily her life story. It goes something like this:
"I was born in this weird atmosphere where there was much 'anti-aging' creme. It looked like a recalled batch, but I was very hungry so from the tim eI was born until I was about 18 years old, that's what I ate. So it actually didn't 'anti-age' me, it made me disappear. So I figured out the creme was mislabeled because it was actually vanishing creme. So now I've spent the last year looking for a way to be visible again. So then one day I heard a great ruckus going on, I stumbled upon you, and decided to save your life."
Emily was so burdened for Webby that she told her she knew of a magic old hag who could help her. The only way they could find her was to find a hole in a tree and fill it up with water. Then they had to find a flower with no petals and eat it. After they did that, they had to stand on their heads for three minutes. Then, all out of nowhere, a vicious and terrible odor reeked through the air, scattering all of the forest wildlife. Then appeared the magic old hag. Her name was Corine. The two friends were so disturbed by the smell that they passed out.
When they awoke, they were in a swampy wasteland filled with rotting fish, namely anchovies. Corine was looming over them with a look of disgust on her face. The two were frightened. The hag looked at Emily and said, "Do you really want to be able to see your friend's actual appearance?"
Emily replied, "Well it's better than looking at you!"
Webby grew nervous and told Emily something that she hadn't told her before. The truth was that Webby was actually a bacteria that had grown to a million times its actual size. She was covered in gooey plasma and surrounded by sticky flagella. So then Emily began to cry to the hag to turn her friend into a beautiful thing instead of what she was. Corine felt sorry for them and turned Webby into a beautiful blonde 5'2" tall human girl. She was truly beautiful. Then Webby looked at Emily, who was a stumpy platypus, and asked the hag to turn Emily into something beautiful also. So the hag granted her request and turned Emily into a gorgeous sandy-blonde 5'6" tall girl. She was a sight to behold. The hag took a look at the two girls and decided they were too different for their land. She sent them away to a land where they would be appreciated. The two girls were thrusted into a giant wormhole and found themselves then standing in a circle of tribal people. The tribal people then seized them, made them their queens, and killed them because the girls couldn't understand their language of tongue-clicking,
The End.
Fin.
Editor's note: I didn't write this at all, so any mistakes and/or roadkill-esque sentences are entirely on the behalf of the author. Also, I'm the one who is referred to as "Webby", so have fun with that.
The cussing giraffe in this piece is a reference to this video ---> here. it's well worth the watch.
